


Without You

by Serenity4Lifeee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Bokuto Koutarou, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Omega Akaashi Keiji, Omegaverse, Parenthood, Sad, Single Parent Bokuto Koutarou, bokuaka family, bokuto is trying his best, bonded mates, iwaoi - Freeform, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26021983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenity4Lifeee/pseuds/Serenity4Lifeee
Summary: "Today is just another day of trying to get by without you." -Ranata SuzukiEvery day is a struggle after Bokuto loses his husband. The only thing keeping him going are their kids and he knows that no matter how hard it may be he'll find a way to continue.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 82





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> This is from an AU I have where during the last month of pregnancy a complication occurs and Akaashi decides that their twins lives are more important than his, ending in his death and leaving Bokuto to raise their kids alone.
> 
> It's sad and this short is sad so I'm sorry. I really don't know why I created this because it's just a lot of pain, but enjoy!

Bokuto sighed, leaning against the doorway. It was late and he knew he needed to get to bed but there hadn’t been a night since the twins were born that he’d had a good night's sleep and he doubted tonight would be the night.

“Bo?” He startled, head turning at Oikawa’s voice.

“I thought you guys left,” he said, turning all the way to face his friend.

“Iwa’s just cleaning up the last few things. Everyone else has left.” Oikawa offered a comforting smile. “How are the twins?”

“Asleep,” Bokuto answered, gaze flickering to the two cribs set up in the bedroom that now felt unusually empty, even with the two new additions.

“Your rut is starting soon, isn’t it?” Bokuto looked down at his hands, gaze catching on his wedding ring.

“Yeah,” he whispered. Oikawa stepped closer, waving a hand to get his attention.

“Me and Iwa can take the twins for you.” Bokuto blinked in surprise.

“Really?” Oikawa snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Just because we aren’t having kids of our own doesn’t mean we don’t like them. Besides, the twins are adorable and I would love to watch them.” Bokuto smiled softly, looking over as Iwaizumi approached, his hand resting on the small of Oikawa’s back as he came to a stop.

“Watch who?” Oikawa bumped his hip against Iwaizumi’s, tilting his head.

“Kaiya and Hiroko,” he said, earning a look from Iwaizumi. “Daichi and Suga have their kids, Kenma avoids kids like the plague and I swear to god if you leave a baby with Chibi-chan and Tobio. We’re clearly the best option!” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but there was a soft smile on his lips as he nodded.

“Point made,” he said, looking to Bokuto. “Your rut?” At the look of confusion he received Iwaizumi shrugged. “I can smell it.”

“Oh, right.” Bokuto twisted his wedding ring around his finger. “Yeah. I can pay you back-”

“Hell no,” Oikawa snapped, cutting him off. “You don’t owe us anything. Give us a date and time and those beautiful little babies of yours will be in good hands.” Bokuto let his gaze move back to the cribs as he nodded.

“Okay,” he said. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Oikawa replied. “But, Bo, please don’t give up.” Bokuto took a shaky breath, glancing back at his friends. “It’ll be hard but if you need  _ anything _ you know all of us are here for you.”

“Yeah,” he muttered.

“Bo, Akaashi wouldn’t want you to close yourself off. Please, if anything, do it for him.” Bokuto winced, his scent glands throbbing at the mention of his mate.

“I won’t.” At Oikawa’s unconvinced expression Bokuto sighed. “I promise I won’t closet myself away and become a hermit.” Satisfied, Oikawa nodded firmly, turning and pressing a kiss to Iwaizumi’s cheek.

“Good. Let’s go, Iwa-chan. We’ve got kids to prepare for.” Iwaizumi grinned, eyes following his husband as he moved. The look was soft and full of love, sending a pang through Bokuto’s chest. He didn’t have that any more. The soft looks and gentle touches were gone, leaving him with a throbbing ache and a numb feeling if he thought too far into all that he’d lost.

Once they were gone Bokuto walked into the bedroom, gaze moving over the empty space on the bed that Akaashi no longer filled. He missed the nights he’d come into their room to find the bedside lamp on, Akaashi with his glasses on and a book or whatever work he had to look over still in hand. Everytime Bokuto had slipped into bed Akaashi would reach out and take his hand to press a kiss to it before going back to what he was doing. Now he felt cold every time he crawled into bed, no one there to greet him or wish him goodnight.

A cry brought Bokuto back and he turned his attention to the cribs set up in the room, already identifying the cry as Hiroko’s. He stepped up to his son's crib, lifting him up and into his arms carefully.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Hiroko had quieted but continued to fuss, making soft noises. “It’s okay,” Bokuto said, walking out of the bedroom and into the living room. Ever since he’d been brought home Hiroko struggled with sleeping so Bokuto had already grown accustomed to what his son needed. He knew because it was something he also needed. “I know,” Bokuto comforted, sitting down in the usual chair he and his son occupied during the rough nights. He lifted him carefully, letting his son’s head rest on his shoulder near his scent glands. It seemed to be the only thing that could calm either of his kids and he had no doubt it was because of his own scent being a comfort but also the fact that he still held the calming scent of their mother which could only be found on a few objects like clothing or blankets around the house. “I know, Hiroko, I know.”

* * *

It was nearly thirty minutes later by the time Hiroko had finally fallen asleep and Bokuto shifted him as gently as possible so he was cradled in the crook of his arm. He admired his son’s soft features and the small wisps of dark hair that covered his head. Bokuto adored him. He adored Kaiya. Bokuto had wanted so much to finally have kids of his own with the love of his life. He just hadn’t expected to raise them alone.

“I wish I didn’t have to do it without you, Keiji,” Bokuto whispered, free hand coming up to rest over his scent glands and Akaashi’s mark now faded from time. It had only been a couple of weeks, yet it seemed like only days. Six weeks since the twins had been born and Akaashi had been taken away from him. Six weeks that would turn into years. Years where the twins would grow. Years where Akaashi would still be gone.  _ Years _ where Bokuto would still be without the love of his life. He would learn to cope. He would also spend every second of those years wishing Akaashi Keiji was doing it with him. Nothing was the same without him but that was just something Bokuto would have to get used to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
